Sunday, 14 March 2010
why this struggle with myself ? wanting to be independent and dependent at the same time ? Why is there always a clash of thoughts with myself and why does my independent self always win? more then winning, why does this make me feel better? Is this because of my pattern of life that I cant change or I dont want to change? Why am I so apprehensive of letting go and being dependent ? I really dont want this constant fight and struggle, its not bad, but till the time this fight lasts it makes me really miserable.
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I really want to open my mouth and be a bit demanding at times, but i am unable to do so... Its a clash again between my ego and self respect.. not wanting to be looked down upon. On one hand I want to be like this and there is another one which wants me to lean... for love, support and attention. some expression.
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